Serious Proposal for Doug DeMuro's Next Work Car: A Pickup

"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
12/07/2015 at 13:39 • Filed to: Making Doug's Decisions, Truck Yeah

Doug DeMuro’s business model demands he buy a vehicle after January 1st and write articles about it. Speculation and lobbying for the next vehicle has happily become an annual tradition. But with January only a month away, what should Doug buy? A pickup, that’s what.

Pickups, particularly those used for city driving, get a bad rap. They’re huge, wasteful, genital-compensating barges that should only be driven by those with the bluest collars. They’re even worse than SUVs, which Doug seems to love (Range Rover) and hate (H1).

But instead of shouting on the internet about the rolling embodiment of Red State America, let’s instead listen to Doug shout about pickups. Doug, please buy a full-size pickup. Show us what urban pickup life is like.

DISCUSSION (45)

Doug DeMuro > For Sweden
12/07/2015 at 13:45

I’ve never had a pickup before!

Twism > For Sweden
12/07/2015 at 13:45

Yesssss...

Kinja'd!!!

Wobbles the Mind > For Sweden
12/07/2015 at 13:45

I think the truck that would be most interesting would be out of his usual price range (since I bet he will want two cars from now on to write about). Plus I think the Hummer covered urban living with a pickup.

CalzoneGolem > For Sweden
12/07/2015 at 13:46

No! No! No! We want to make him suffer !
The truck will totally adequate and harder to make wacky trips to the dealer.

For Sweden > Wobbles the Mind
12/07/2015 at 13:47

The difference between a normal pickup like an F-150 and a Hummer H1 are staggering and numerous.

Rico > Twism
12/07/2015 at 13:47

This is the only pickup worth writing about.

For Sweden > CalzoneGolem
12/07/2015 at 13:48

But the internet tells me that pickups are for bros and republican soccer moms that just want to run over everything

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > Twism
12/07/2015 at 13:48

He said truck, not "truck"

Future next gen S2000 owner > Doug DeMuro
12/07/2015 at 13:49

If you pick up a Dodge Ram SRT 1500 Viper Motor Edition with a six speed stick. I’ll name my first born daughter Doug.*

*Your results may vary. Please see Manufacturer for claim details and guarantees.

Future next gen S2000 owner > Twism
12/07/2015 at 13:49

This. All day everyday.

Autohaus Derp > For Sweden
12/07/2015 at 13:50

Kinja'd!!!

But why not zoidberg Baja?

Moves-Like-Senna > Doug DeMuro
12/07/2015 at 13:50

What about a 6x6?

Kinja'd!!!

Or two cars - 4 wheels

Kinja'd!!!

For Sweden > Autohaus Derp
12/07/2015 at 13:52

Unibody, but I’ll allow it

For Sweden > Doug DeMuro
12/07/2015 at 13:53

See it’s perfect. You could get a boat and trailer as well.

BigBlock440 > Twism
12/07/2015 at 13:53

That was one of his options a few years ago, but he bought the CTS-V instead.

KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs > For Sweden
12/07/2015 at 13:53

This only works if he gets a Dodge Ram with the air suspension. Because then he can continue to have wacky trips to the dealer.

Wobbles the Mind > For Sweden
12/07/2015 at 13:54

I don’t know, I feel like he could rent a full-size for a week and get all the same articles he could make over a year. Rather read about being a Subaru Baja owner or an original MINI.

CalzoneGolem > For Sweden
12/07/2015 at 13:54

Exactly my point. Doug will love it.

For Sweden > Wobbles the Mind
12/07/2015 at 13:55

He could rent any of these cars for a week from somebody

JR1 > For Sweden
12/07/2015 at 13:55

Get on the Viper train man. That must be his future.

djmt1 > Doug DeMuro
12/07/2015 at 13:55

The Model T had a pick up variant, did it not. Come on you know you want that pre-war lyfe.

Wobbles the Mind > For Sweden
12/07/2015 at 13:57

Good point, you know that might be the cheaper way of doing this. He could do a different vehicle every month then!

they-will-know-my-velocity > For Sweden
12/07/2015 at 14:00

I’ll say it again - Ford Raptor

Chris Kasinskas > For Sweden
12/07/2015 at 14:09

I vote for a Subaru Brat or Subaru Baja

HammerheadFistpunch > Autohaus Derp
12/07/2015 at 14:09

misfitmascots > For Sweden
12/07/2015 at 14:11

Kinja'd!!!

Twism > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%)
12/07/2015 at 14:14

It’s a body-on-frame 1500 truck with decent ground clearance that can tow up up to 7 500 pounds and haul some stuff in the bed, too.

It’s a real, truck...

It just happens to have a Viper engine and can haul some serious ass, too.

wiffleballtony > For Sweden
12/07/2015 at 14:14

Only if its, lifted, has custom wheels, has a light bar, and maybe dual stacks.

Twism > BigBlock440
12/07/2015 at 14:15

Time to right this wrong.

HammerheadFistpunch > Doug DeMuro
12/07/2015 at 14:17

Don’t you love not getting having to pick out your own cars anymore?

marshknute > For Sweden
12/07/2015 at 14:19

A pickup would be boring to read about after the first two articles.

Doug works his magic when presented with crazy cars. If it has to be a pickup, give him an SRT-10, Baja turbo, or a Brat.

BigBlock440 > Twism
12/07/2015 at 14:22

The aluminum version* of the V10 that came in the trucks just a few years earlier

*note, I do know that the block material isn’t the only change to the aluminum version

Twism > BigBlock440
12/07/2015 at 14:24

They always said that the V10 engine was nothing more than a souped-up truck motor.

That’s the perfect application for it then!

Justin Hughes > For Sweden
12/07/2015 at 14:39

A twist on this idea would be an older small pickup. It would have to be older, because there are no small pickups anymore. I’m talking something Ranger or S-10 sized. Then try to do full size pickup things with it. Either he’ll make a good case for the return of the small pickup to our shores, or it’ll fail miserably, explain why they disappeared in the first place, and give us a chance to laugh at his misfortunes. And it must be 4WD, so Doug can compare its off-road prowess to the Hummer.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > Twism
12/07/2015 at 14:43

Hmm, that sounds pretty decent. I was thinking it was more like the Ford SVT F150 which tows quite a bit less.

Twism > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%)
12/07/2015 at 14:47

I’ve heard people say that the Lightning could also tow up to 7000 pounds... Not sure.

The Ram SRT10 has the automatic transmission out of the 2500HD Cummins, so it’s strong enough to haul. The main problem is those lightweight 20 inch wheels. Swap them for a set of steelies and you’ll be able to pull a bigger trailer.

jariten1781 > For Sweden
12/07/2015 at 14:50

Only if ludicrously lifted or a slammed mini-truck...or maybe something old and oddball like a Corvair rampside. A plain-jane truck would be pretty blah.